Long Ago....

here is a piece i found from a long long time ago. I wrote it right after i got out of a relationship, maybe it wasnt right after it but it was within the year i believe...crazy i know but what can you do....your young.

You are like a poison. Every kiss was toxic and spread through my body like a raging cancer. I was infected with your love and you with mine. What is the cure? Is there any? I think not. I search day and night for an antidote. Why am I like I am? What causes me to be the way I am? Is it you? Still? It was so long ago I hate to remember. But I was happy, you were happy weren’t you? I guess I will never know. I often sit up at night and wonder what might have been and I sit and think about all the times that we had and how wild and carefree those months were. You taught me to live and to be free; you always could bring out the best in me and for what? Heartache, pain, and suffering. I want to be with you still but I live in fear. Fear of rejection and humiliation, the pair surround me daily. I guess I will never know your feelings, if they were real, if they were strong or if they were sincere. But there is one thing I do know, I love you still, now and forever, I always will, you were my first love. You are the one that I will always remember. I gave you my whole heart and I will never get all of it back. Sure there will be others but none will ever be like you my green eyed girl. You taught me to love and that is a feeling I will never forget.